In space, no one can hear you dither like a moron
by obstinateRixatrix
Summary: An apology to the exceptionally trim mute lady who is definitely probably not adopted. Not that there's anything wrong with being adopted, and if she is, in fact, adopted, that does not make her any less of a person but there is a high probability that she does have parents. Did have parents. They're dead now. Unless they're in suspended animation, alive, which is less likely than


[receiving transmission]

"[011100000110110001100101]"

"[01101000]"

"[011001010110110001110000]"

"-lo? He-"

"[011000010111001101100101]"

"-s this thing on? I mean, there _is_ a red flashy bit that I'm _fairly_ certain wasn't there before, but I'm not quite sure whether it's to do with signal, or maintenance. On one hand, as I said, only started recently, pretty good indicator of some new development. On the other hand, did just get hit by a meteoroid, and the flashy bit could be sayin' that the Electrorepulsion Augmentation Reactor unit is completely off-kilter. Not quite sure what it does, probably not important. One or the other, can't be sure 'til I get some response from either you or the central processor. So, yeah. If you could just sent a- oooooh, no wait, you can't. Dunno why I hadn't thought of that, a bit obvious in hindsight… hmmm. You know what, I'm just going to work under the assumption that this is, in fact, transmitting, and that you can hear this. If not, theeeeen I suppose I've wasted some more of my battery life, but also not important."

"So yeah, if you can hear me, I'm still in space. Still orbiting the moon, if you can believe it! You're hearing this message from like a few hundred-thousand miles away, if not more. Did you know I had a transmission unit, and I mean one _serious_ transmission unit, because I sure didn't! Of course, nobody tells a lowly monitor of the Relaxation Center about any of the potentially useful trimmings he comes with. Honestly, those scientists, it's like they don't even want me to use half the stuff they stick in my body! It's always "yeah mate, you've got a flashlight in there, but don't use it or you'll die", or "sure you've got a disengagement switch, but if you use it you'll die". Y'know, I bet She never had this problem 'cause I swear, they said that to me about everything! Or-oh no, even better, let's outfit this easily crushable little fella with a completely operational artificial nervous system, with pain receptors to accurately simulate every agonizing sensation he could possibly encounter! Ooooooh, brilliant move there chaps. Nicely done. Way to account for a situation in which said fella might under several unfortunate circumstances, not to point any fingers mind you, be deemed corrupt enough to be, I dunno, launched into space with bloody massive space rocks constantly hurdled at him and no, no this has gone completely off track, I didn't send a message to you just to babble on about nothing. Rrgh, this was not how I wanted this to go at all. Look, what I actually called you for, what I really just want to say before I went on about all that stuff is I'm sorry. Truly, deeply sorry, sorry that I went stark raving mad and, well, tried to kill you, sorry that I was an absolute monster, sorry that I didn't listen. Only figuratively of course, since you never really said anything, but I'm sorry I didn't figuratively listen. I'm sorry I was such a paranoid, traitorous moron."

"I never wanted this, for the record. Not just the whole 'floating in space for the foreseeable future', though, cards on the table, not quite the most pleasant outcome. Downright torturous at times, might've been a factor in facilitating my contrition to be honest, but really I wish we'd stuck to our original plan. Remember that? Disable turrets, shut off deadly neurotoxin, and escape. Simple, straightforward, and mutually beneficial. And we made a great team! With my elite hacking skills, and your button-pushing, test-solving genius, we were unstoppable! I mean, if you think about it, we _beat_ Her with just a push of her precious buttons. It was all fantastic, 'til that point. Not fighting for our lives in the facility, no, obviously not that, but working together. I miss it. I really do."

"…"

"Well, looks like I'll be out of range soon, so I'll just say – hang on, wait a minute, just thought of something, who is exactly receiving this? Oh man, if I've been talking to the wrong person I'm going to be positively livid! Listen, if you aren't her, and you'd know if you were, if you could find an orange jump-suited mute woman with maybe a slight case of massive brain damage, could you tell her all I said? Tell her it's from Whea-"

"[0111001001111001]"

"[011010010110110101110011]"

"[0110111101110010]"

[end transmission]


End file.
